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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146902">Youre like an older brother to me.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/endermanirl/pseuds/endermanirl'>endermanirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Real Person Fiction</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Near Death Experiences, References to Depression, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide Attempt, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:01:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,938</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/endermanirl/pseuds/endermanirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"you know i love you, right? You're like an older brother to me, truly."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>ALL PLATONIC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>621</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Youre like an older brother to me.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW - suicide attempt, pills, overdose attempt, hospitals, death? no one dies but its like,, almost</p><p>I will take this down if they state theyre are uncomfortable with it at any time !!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW - suicide attempt, overdosing</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To be frank, Tommy was tired. He was tired, he was sad, and he was sick of it. As Tommy laid in the dark, he thought back on his life, his <em>real</em> life. The bullies, the sadness, the exhaustion. He knew what he wanted to do, he knew what he NEEDED to do.. He started think about his friends, about Tubbo, about Wilbur, about Phil, about Techno.. about everyone. God, he would miss them... He booted up discord to speak to his friends for one last time. He felt bad, seeing as it was so late at night, but he knew all his friends had horrible sleeping schedules and would be awake anyway. He called Wilbur first, who picked up almost right away.</p><p>"Hey Toms, what's up? Why'd you call so late, are you alright?" Wilbur said in his off-stream voice, no bits, no fakeness. Just Wilbur... Tommy almost started crying then and there, but he didn't. "Wilbur.." he started, "you know i love you, right? You're like an older brother to me, truly." He said, there was a lump forming in his throat, not now.. not now. Wilbur started to say something but Tommy cut him off. "You're family to me, Wilbs. Honestly. And I'll, I'll miss you, Wilbur.. I'll miss you alot, ya know? But this needs to be done. I'm so sorry."<br/>And before Wilbur could say anything, Tommy ended the call.</p><p>He was crying now, he realized. Tears rolled down his face as he thought about everything. He couldn't even speak to tubbo.. to Toby. It would hurt too much, Wilbur would tell the rest he supposed.. Did he really want to do this..? As much as he'd like to deny it, he did, he wanted this. He wanted it bad. And so at 3:26A.M., Tommy got out of his bed, went downstairs, grabbed a bottle of pain pills, and went into the bathroom.</p><p>[]</p><p>His phone was going off like crazy, a glance told him Wilbur had called and messaged multiple times. Phil as well, Tommy guessed Wilbur told him. It hurt seeing his friends like this. He powered off his phone and set it to the side of him, slumping to ground. His hands shook as he reached for the pills, he could barely open them. But he managed, he was scared now. Terrified, even. But he couldnt back out now, not after all he'd done, not after Wilbur, not after Phil.. The medication was transferred from the bottle to his hands, all of it. And he downed them, at 3:28A.M., Tommy downed an entire bottle of pain pills on his restroom floor.</p><p>It was peaceful. He was drifting into a state of calm. The darkness surrounding  him like a blanket, it was like he was a baby again.. being swaddled in blankets, it was dark, it was scary, but it was peace. He was vaguely aware of his surroundings, it was almost time for him to sleep forever. Until the door was thrown open, until he was forced up, until water was gently splashed on his face, until he was bent over the toilet, vomiting everything out, until he could hear Wilbur talking to him, until, until.. until he finally fell into the darkness. But not like that. He was alive, and he was exhausted.<br/><br/></p><p>[]<br/>Tommy was faintly aware of a beeping noise, faintly aware of someone talking to another person, someone was holding his hand. He could hear crying, but he didn't want to open his eyes.<br/>Where was he? What was going on? This wasn't his room, he was confused, he was scared. Then he remembered speaking to Wilbur, the pills, his bathroom, the darkness. Should he open his eyes? He still didnt know where he was.. but he did. For a second.<br/>It was bright, the light shone directly in his eyes and it hurt. He closed his eyes again quickly, the room was all white, there were lights everywhere, he was laying down. Is this a hospital? Was he hospitalized..? How did.. Oh. Wilbur mustve taken him here after he found him in the bathroom.<br/>"He's awake... He's awake I saw his eyes open! Dim the lights, it-it's too bright in here." Someone was saying frantically, who.. who was that? He thought, was that.. Tubbo? Did Wilbur tell Tubbo? He must've, how else would tubbo have known. He opened his eyes slightly, it was darker now.. it didnt hurt his eyes, he opened them all the way.</p><p>He could see tubbo at his side, he was the one holding Tommy's hand. Wilbur was speaking to the doctor in a slightly hushed tone, he looked slightly worried. Phil and Techno were together, Techno seemed concerned, Tommy thought he even saw tear marks on his face. Phil was worried, he was scared as well.<br/>His family.. they were all here, because Tommy was selfish. He was selfish and stupid and-- "TOMMY, YOU'RE ALRIGHT," tubbo flung his arms around tommy and hugged him like their life depended on it. Tommy could feel tubbo crying on his neck, they had him in a tight embrace. It kind of hurt, but it's okay, because it's Tubbo.</p><p>"..H-hi, Toby." His voice was hoarse and scratchy from the fact he hadnt talked in a long while. Everyone was looking at them. Everyone was looking at <em>him</em>. It felt weird, having this much attention. He didn't like it, he didn't want it.<br/>But he dealt with it, for now.</p><p>Tubbo was rambling to him, but it sounded less like words and more like unintelligible nonsense, sobs were in between every other word and his voice was muffled from the position he was in. Wilbur was next to him now as well.<br/>"Do you hurt? Do you have a headache? Do you want water, are you hungry? Do you-" Tommy cut him off mid sentence? ramble? "I'm fine, Wilbs. Dont worry." He said, he threw in a small laugh at the end, he didn't want them to worry.</p><p>The hospital scene seemed to drag on and on. But, eventually, Tommy was let out and everyone decided it was best for him to stay with Wilbur at his flat.</p><p>[]</p><p>It took only 30 minutes or so to arrive at Wilbur's house. It was warm, it was comforting. Tommy hung slightly on Wilbur, his legs hurt and he felt weaker than normal. The older man led the younger to his room, they both decided it would be better for them to share, incase tommy got upset and just so he could keep a better eye on the blonde boy. Tommy settled on Wilbur's king sized bed and curled in on himself slightly.<br/>"Wilbs, how am i meant to stream?" He asked in a quieter-than-normal voice, his throat hurt quite a lot. Wilbur looked over to him from his desk and stared at the younger with something akin to concern? in his warm eyes. "Tommy i dont think you should stream for a little, while you're still recovering and all. Y'know? I can do a serious stream to announce it, you dont have to be in it."</p><p>Tommy sighed slightly, but he knew Wilbur was right. He nodded his head and made sure Wilbur saw. The older said he'd make a tweet announcing it in about 30 minutes, and for Tommy to just stay in the living room for an hour or so.</p><p>-<br/><em><b>WilburSoot</b></em><br/>"<em> serious stream in 30 minutes, need to talk about something important.</em><br/><em>Twitch.tv/WilburSoot "</em></p><p>—view more replies..(282)<br/>-</p><p>Taking a glance through the replies on the tweet, he could tell people were worried, and anxious. He didn't like making his fans worry like that, but he had to.<br/>Making sure Tommy was okay in the other room, he sat down and clicked the "Go Live" button on Twitch.</p><p>Immediately he had about 10k viewers, then 30k, then 90k. The chat was full of people spamming concerns and such and Wilbur's beginning song played. No pogchamps, only worries. He sighed, his mic unmuted so he knew chat heard him.</p><p>"Chat, we need to talk a little," he started. Maybe not the best line to open a serious stream with, but it got the point across. He took a glance at what people were saying;</p><p>"<em>is everything ok??" "what happened?" "did we fuck up LOL"</em></p><p>"Chat, you didn't do anything, don't worry." He laughed a little, but it was more forced than anything.<br/>"I just have to announce something to you all, seeing as, well, Tommy can't."</p><p>
  <em>"Tommy??" "Is Tommy ok?" "What happened to Tommy!!???!"</em>
</p><p>"So, ahh, Tommy was hospitalized for reasons that will remain.. undisclosed." Chat went 10x faster, spams and concerns flying by. "He's unable to stream for a bit while hes in recovery. Please don't spam him or ask why he was, its none of your business and he'd like it to remain private." He went on explaining a bit more, but being vague.<br/>All chat knew was Tommy was hospitalized, he's now staying with wilbur, and he wouldnt be streaming for awhile. Wilbur probably wouldnt stream that much either, atleast not for a week or so.</p><p>And then he ended stream.</p><p>-</p><p>Things were boring, they were calm. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but Tommy just wasn't used to it. The days seemed to drag on a little longer, it would rain a little harder, but he had Wilbur, and he had Tubbo. He had his friends. Things were getting better for him bit by bit.<br/>Scrollig through his indirects—a thing not done very much by him—, he felt.. nice. People cared about him, people wondered if he was okay.. I mean, after all, he did kind od just disappear off the face of the earth with no word besides Wilburs. Maybe he should tweet? Would people want that, or should he just stay quiet?<br/>Pondering for a few moments, he decided, <em>fuck it, i will tweet.</em></p><p>-<br/><b>tommyinnit</b><br/><em>YOu know what i love more than Women???  My friends. POGCHAMP</em></p><p>—view more replies (729)<br/>-</p><p>Okay, well, maybe it wasn't the same vive as his other tweets. But, fuck, man, he wanted to show his friends a little appreciation. If it wasnt for them he'd.. not be here right now, probably. He was grateful for them.</p><p>And thats all that matters, right?</p><p>[]<br/><br/></p><p>It had been a week since he got released and was staying with Wilbur. He was feeling a lot better, his legs didnt feel as weak and he didnt feel like shit every second of the day. Maybe not perfect shape, but he was getting there, slowly.<br/>Wilbur had become even more of an older brother figure to him in this time. The older man would help him through nightmares, help him when he was having a panic attack, soothe him when he cried, sometimes would even cry with him. It was nice, he felt like he was loved with Wilbur. He felt like they truly were family.<br/>After all, family isn't always blood,</p><p>sometimes family was your friends.</p><p>[]</p><p>Two weeks and Tommy finally felt like he could stream again. He still had panic attacks and nightmares, but physically he was okay. He sent a quick tweet of his twitch link before clicking the "Go Live" button on the dashboard.</p><p>Zelda music playing in the background, he leaned back in his chair, sipping his soda. He saw tens of thousands of people join, chat was going fast as ever.<br/>Setting his chair right, he put his drink down and sighed.<br/>"SUP, CHAT! HOW ARE YOU ALL?"</p><p>It was good. Life was good, everything was okay.<br/>And he was happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i edited it from 2 chapters to all just one chap cus i didnt like hie short the 2nd part looked on its own so sry</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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